Monday marked 3 years since my mother’s passing. I wrote to process my grief on year 1 and year 2 of her death anniversary and have used this blog as a surprising way to analyze and record my grieving process. This year was different. This year was remarkably lighter. Acceptance. Perhaps the continuous effort to healthily grieve has helped subside the pain of this time of year. Another sister is getting married and the elephant in the room is the absence of our mother, to guide her little women through life’s mile markers.
I think a lot about all the good music my mother never got to hear, but then quickly remember she grew up in the 60s and mourn for my own generation’s loss. When a new Denzel Washington movie comes out I smile big and recall my mother’s fondness for him. I look at my thighs and I see my mother’s. I see my sisters and see her everything.
I think of my mother and her enormous creative and sociable personality. I see this light exuding through my daily interactions – even the mundane. I thank God for such a boisterous mother and her traits that have permeated my being, my spirit.
I guess this year is a year of happy remembrance. I’m glad to have the heaviness lifted and be able to give thanks for what I had and what I have.